MIKEs DAILY PODCAST Friday 3/31/2012

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 272 Saturday March 31st 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Listen to today's show on MichaelMatthews.podomatic.com by clicking on the link below...

http://michaelmatthews.podomatic.com/entry/2012-03-31T10_14_40-07_00

Today is Bunsen Burner Day and that's sweet-er
everyone needs a lab assistant named Beeker
the guy who invented that special lab tool
was born on this date and he weren't no fool
but I was not the best student in Chemistry class
remembering the periodic table alluded me, alas
today is also Clam on the Half Shell Day
you know when you see these that a party's underway
speaking of parties, I fed 11 people last night with my Turkey Chili, not clams...thankfully
it was my crockpot chilli and the folks seemed to like it
it was celebrating my friend Terri's birthday and she likes to bike it...she's an avid bicyclist...is what I mean...me, not so much.

Today we hear from Benita the Rodeo Queen, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the segment WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK? And on NEWS RANDOM, all hail HGTV's House Hunters!

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment THE MIKELOPEDIA INSANICA, plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley: three people who blew up things regularly in chemistry class.  So much so that they were told to leave.  Under this advisement they did so and created a fireworks company.  Then the Fourth of July came and everyone used their fireworks, only to discover their fuses were too short.  Okay, there's nothing funny at the end of this sentence so just go listen to a nerd podcast!

Mike Matthews

Sponsor this show and you'll be greeted by a committee of clowns.  They'll honk at you and drive you around in tiny cars.  More fun than you ever had nightmares about.  Email me if you'd like to sponsor the show or if you'd like to be a guest on the show at MikesDailyPodcast@gmail.com

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MIKEs DAILY PODCAST Friday 3/30/2012

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 271 Friday March 30th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Listen to today's show on MichaelMatthews.podomatic.com by clicking on the link below...

http://michaelmatthews.podomatic.com/entry/2012-03-30T16_18_00-07_00

Today is Take a Walk in the Park Day which is fun
unless you do it when there is no sun
as in at night, most parks are pretty scary
don't want to be attacked by a guy who's hairy
not that having hair on your chest is a bad thing
for me sadness however is all it brings
when you try to get it waxed not "40 Year Old Virgin"
ripping out those hairs really hurts like sin
but walking in the park is a nice day.  Hopefully you have one near you!
We have lots of parks here in the Bay Area
that was not the case so much in Alabama...parks were shooting galleries...go get you some deer...or duck...that's what we call a park!

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you the segment EMAIL FOR ME MAIL, and on NEWS RANDOM, Apple has some 'splaining to do.

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK?  Plus we'll hear from the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, the Brewmaster, and Benita the Rodeo Queen: three people who don't think that chest hair is a bad thing.  Wrist hair, however, that some scary stuff.  My eyes are closed now.

Mike Matthews

Sponsor this show and you'll find that you are at the head of your department in no time at all.  That is, if your department is water cooler emptier.  Get ready to guzzle!  Email me if you'd like to sponsor the show or if you'd like to be a guest on the show at MikesDailyPodcast@gmail.com

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MIKEs DAILY PODCAST Thursday 3/29/2012

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 270 Thursday March 29th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Listen to today's show on MichaelMatthews.podomatic.com by clicking on the link below...

http://michaelmatthews.podomatic.com/entry/2012-03-29T17_42_10-07_00

So today is Thursday and it's also, by the way,
National Mom and Pop Business Owner Day
I celebrated by going to IKEA
that was not good of me to do now I see-uh
my Mom owned her own business that lasted almost 20 years
it was in the video rental industry so you know there were tears
today is also Smoke and Mirrors Day and that has to do
with people who aren't entirely being honest with you
my wife and I watched a documentary on Frank Lloyd Wright and he apparently lied to people a lot
so buy coffee today from someone not a major chain
we did that today at a place in Redwood City that's insane!...they make a Mexican Coffee...each cup individually brewed...how sweet it is!

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE's SCAVENGER HUNT, and on NEWS RANDOM, beware if you're a distracted driver!

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment EMAIL FOR ME MAIL, plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer: three people who believe in supporting the mom and pop's.  Preferably one's that bathe regularly.  The don't like to patronize stinky mom and pop's.  So if you're hippy, homeless, European, or sanitarily-challenged you may not ever hear from those three.  Be thankful.

Mike Matthews

Sponsor this show and Zooey Deschanel will come to your house and talk to you in her Kermit the Frog voice till you start to laugh.  Then she'll give you a cup cake.  I don't know Zooey so I have know idea if that'll happen or not...just to be clear.  Email me if you'd like to sponsor the show or if you'd like to be a guest on the show at MikesDailyPodcast@gmail.com

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MIKEs DAILY PODCAST Wednesday 3/28/2012

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 269 Wednesday March 28th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Listen to today's show on MichaelMatthews.podomatic.com by clicking on the link below...

http://michaelmatthews.podomatic.com/entry/2012-03-28T15_27_14-07_00

Today is Wednesday but did you know
it's Something On A Stick Day also
what does that mean you may be asking me
well it refers mostly to stuff that you eat
Popsicles, fudgesicles, corn dogs, and cocktail wieners
lollipops, suckers, and other hand held things for eaters
certain foods aren't so easy for this eating group
like clam chowders, stews, chili's, and soups
I remember when I worked on the radio at night my wife would bring me food...never on a stick
I used to keep plates and silver ware at work
until someone started stealing all my forks...I think I know who it was...but I have since forgiven them...I stuck a fork in it and I'm done.

Today we hear from Benita the Rodeo Queen, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the segment RIDICULOUS RANDOM POSTS, and on NEWS RANDOM, Gaga vs Madonna.

Tomorrow we bring you the segment MIKE's SCAVENGER HUNT plus we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley: three people who never eat anything on a stick unless it's a steak.  "Steak on a Stick" is their idea for a world food franchise.  They hope to make big bucks on it.  Warren Buffet's even interested in investing.  He, unfortunately hasn't met the three.  When he does, his helicopter will fly away so fast the wind rush will cause local birds to be paralyzed.  So sad...for the birds.

Mike Matthews

Sponsor this show and you'll get all the wonderful coffee drinks you want made for you by very fast barista's.  They're not very smart barista's so you may end up with a carrot in your latte.  Sorry, that's the best we can do.  Email me if you'd like to sponsor the show or if you'd like to be a guest on the show at MikesDailyPodcast@gmail.com

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MIKEs DAILY PODCAST Tuesday 3/27/2012

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 268 Tuesday March 27th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Listen to today's show on MichaelMatthews.podomatic.com by clicking on the link below...

http://michaelmatthews.podomatic.com/entry/2012-03-27T10_15_44-07_00

I missed a show yesterday
and it was Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
I would have a National Mike Day
but it turns out today is National Joe Day
it's the day where everybody should call you Joe
and you can call everybody else the name Joe
even if they're a woman call them Jody or Josephine
you can call them late for dinner but that would be mean
I drink a cup of joe so this all works out in the great scheme of things.
Yesterday I visited a museum in San Francisco
another free one to visit using Discover & Go...that's that special program through your library...maybe your public library has it.

Today we hear from Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE's CASSETTE CUBBYHOLE, and on NEWS RANDOM, your TV feels threatened.

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment RIDICULOUS RANDOM POSTS, plus we'll hear from Benita the Rodeo Queen, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster:  three people who love to be called "Joe."  That's because they're under the Witness Protection Service and they can't be called by their real names.  Actually, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player and the Brewmaster are more descriptions than names.  I never noticed that.  Huh.  How odd.  I'm truly awestruck.  Don't know what to say.  What were we talking about?  No idea.

Mike Matthews

Sponsor this show and you'll awaken in a honkytonk located on a piece of dirt road on the outskirts of town.  There you learn how to dance the 24 step.  It's a fun dance...if you're a centipede.  Email me if you'd like to sponsor the show or if you'd like to be a guest on the show at MikesDailyPodcast@gmail.com

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MIKEs DAILY PODCAST Sunday 3/25/2012

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 267 Sunday March 25th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Listen to today's show on MichaelMatthews.podomatic.com by clicking on the link below...

http://michaelmatthews.podomatic.com/entry/2012-03-25T08_51_26-07_00

Today is Sunday and it's also Pecan Day

you might say pekann but pecahn's what I say

I love those little nuts and it comes out of a tree

it's the only nut tree native to "the land of the free"

and we like them so much we have made 2 Pecan Days

National Pecan day is April 14th the day before Tax Day

I love Pecan Pie with a pile of whipped cream

to me that's part of my big dessert dream

today is also International Waffle Day and 4 months from now is NATIONAL Waffle Day...go figure

it comes from Sweden called Vaffleldagen

it welcomes in Spring so put away your toboggan...and eat a delicious fattening waffle...drench it in maple syrup...then go kiss a Swede!

 

Today we hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley, PLUS we bring you the segement WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK? And on NEWS RANDOM, what plot twists are coming up on New Girl?

 

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment MIKE'S CASSETTE CUBBYHOLE, plus we'll hear from Chely Shoehart the Giftshop Supervisor, Floyd the Floorman, and John Deer the Engineer: three people who love waffles so much they make waffle sandwiches that include french toast in the middle.  Yes, they will be dying soon.

Mike Matthews

Sponsor this show and no one will ever annoy you again.  That's because we smear you with whale blubber.  It's like a force field made entirely of smell.  You're welcome.  Email me if you'd like to sponsor the show or if you'd like to be a guest on the show at MikesDailyPodcast@gmail.com

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MIKEs DAILY PODCAST Saturday 3/24/2012

MIKE's DAILY PODCAST effizode 266 Saturday March 24th 2012
"Internet Talk Radio For Your Imagination!"

Listen to today's show on MichaelMatthews.podomatic.com by clicking on the link below...

http://michaelmatthews.podomatic.com/entry/2012-03-24T09_59_46-07_00

Today is Saturday but did you know
it's also National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day also?
Chocolate covering my raisins is a very nice thing
in fact I like just about anything it's covering
I just had some raisin bread a little while ago I love that
a simple breakfast that ain't that low in fat
so I try have that only once in a while
I hope my diet makes you smile
Speaking of dieting, did you see Kristen Wiig do that Paula Dean impression on SNL a couple weeks ago?
She made funny of the way she says ool and boooter
I hope nobody from the South tries to shoot her...either Kristen or Paula...I know Paula loves impressions...she had Ana Gasteyer on her show so she could see her Martha Stewart impression.

Today we hear from Benita the Rodeo Queen, the Disgruntled Fiddle Player, and the Brewmaster, PLUS we bring you the segment MIKE's ABSOLUTELY USELESS REVIEW and on NEWS RANDOM, wackjobs that try to rename cities.

Tomorrow we'll bring you the segment WHAT's THE CLICHE OF THE WEEK?  Plus we'll hear from Madame Rootabega, Valentino the Parking Attendant, and Bison Bentley: three people who love chocolate covered raisins.  Then they leave them all over my house saying I have a pet rabbit.  Jerks.

Mike Matthews

Sponsor this show and you'll never want for anything again.  Unless you want a pony.  Then you'll want for anything again.  Why you want one of those stupid things I've no idea, but you know, different strokes.  Email me if you'd like to sponsor the show or if you'd like to be a guest on the show at MikesDailyPodcast@gmail.com

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Subscribe on iTunes at http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/michaelmatthewss-podcast/id318601461

Or listen on your phone at Stitcher.com at http://www.stitcher.com/MIKESDAILY and enter the promo code MIKESDAILY to possibly win the $100 cash card!

"Like" this show on facebook at http://facebook.com/MikesDailyPodcast